Dreams do come true, the BFP dream

I don’t even know where to begin and part of me still can’t believe it but “I AM PREGNANT!” Seriously, if I didn’t feel different I still wouldn’t believe it. I started to feel different Saturday. That’s when the dizziness, low grade fever, and what I am now going to call pregnancy brain all started. Pregnancy brain is (for me) when your head is all groggy and not completely where you are. I started to have a hunch then that I might be pregnant but I wouldn’t let myself completely believe until I heard my RE tell me “Susan, you’re pregnant.”

Those words ring so loudly in my brain and it still makes me tear up. As a dear friend said to me yesterday, “You will never forget July 1, 2009.” He is right, I won’t forget this day; the day all my dreams came true.

I know I am still 9 months away from holding our baby/babies in our arms. I still have 2 more betas. They are Friday and Monday. Then, the week after that, is our first ultrasound and we find out if it is 1 or 2. Someone even told me it could be 3, but I pray that there are no more then 2 babies in my belly. I must continue to remind myself that God only gives us what we can handle.

My journey to my first BFP lasted almost exactly 3 years. I remember having a conversation with Doug to convince him that it was ok to start trying to conceive in June 2006. As you know, I am a teacher and a June BFP equals a March baby. Most teachers plan for May or June but after 3 years of trying it doesn’t matter anymore, you are just happy to be pregnant.

Do I still feel infertile? Well, I have to say my wounds are deeply diminished right now. Yes, I know I am just 4 weeks pregnant at this point but my beta was strong at 1099 and I know the RE’s office is wondering if it is 2. I know I should be scared right now but there was just such a reassuring tone in my RE’s voice.

For my dear friends who are still trying, don’t give up hope!!! To get my BFP I had to go through a heart breaking diagnosis, 2 IVFs with my eggs, and lucky #3 IVF with donor eggs.

Congress you better watch out, just because I am pregnant doesn’t mean I am going to stop fighting for infertility coverage. I think that now I am going to be fighting even harder.