Speak Out About Infertility

When I originally starting writing I talked about the specific meetings that I went to but now I am realizing that that isn’t the most important thing. The most important thing about Advocacy Day is educating the uneducated about infertility and infertility treatments. This became very apparent after talking with another participant at the reception after all of our meetings and reading comments on an article about infertility coverage.

One of the people from Maryland met with a Congressman, and he said, “You still have a lot of work to do. I was at a community meeting just the other day and someone said, ‘I don’t believe we should pay for things like abortions and infertility.’” This really struck a cord with me. First of all, I want to know who said that so I can go and talk with him personally. And second, how can you lump together infertility and abortion? They are completely different.

Another comment was from a family member, who said, “Why should grandma pay [more taxes] for someone else’s IVF?” This really upset me, because I am not really asking grandma to pay for IVF, I am asking grandma to help me build my family…and yes, due to my disorder I need IVF and donor eggs to build my family. I really don’t feel like this is too much to ask.

I will talk briefly about my meetings. I met with staffers for Senator Ben Cardin, Senator Barbara Mikulski, and Rep. John Sarbanes. Each meeting was slightly different but all seemed very supportive of the cause. Our agendas for these meetings were simple...we had 3 points to get across to each legislator’s staff. First of all, we wanted their support for The Family Building Act of 2009, either HR 697 (in the House) or S 1258 (in the Senate). The Family Building Act is a Bill in support of insurance coverage for infertility treatment. Our second point was the importance of infertility being a part of healthcare reform and not leaving it off the public healthcare plan. Third, RESOLVE is requesting a $250,000 appropriation for the CDC to draft a National Action Plan on Public Health and Infertility.

I have discovered that the most valuable lesson I learned at Advocacy Day was this situation isn’t going to change unless the infertility community steps up. This is the reason I want to come again next year. I will admit I was not as prepared as I should have been but I know my presence as part of the day will make a difference. It is making a difference by speaking our minds about infertility and educating others about recognizing infertility as a disease, not an inconvenience. None of us chose infertility, just like cancer patients don’t choose cancer. Infertility is a disease that we ended up with and we deserve to have coverage for our treatment.

The best part of the day for me was meeting other women dealing with, or who have dealt with, infertility. I got to meet Melissa Ford, the Stirrup-Queen. For those of you who don’t know her, she writes an infertility blog and has just written a book about infertility. I also met several women getting ready to make the decision to move on to donor eggs. I got to talk with them about Shady Grove and their wonderful program. Lastly, I met a mother of twins from donor eggs. I got to ask her the questions I ask everyone who has children from donor eggs. “How are you telling them about the donor?” “What have you told them so far?” “How do they react?”

Things like Advocacy Day are very important for the infertility community and I think it is vital to get as many people as possible involved and attending these events. I have to say, I expected more people to be there. We were 90 people strong but there are millions of people dealing with infertility and we need to speak out. How are things going to change if we don’t speak out? They won’t!!! Right now, Nadya Suleman, the “Octomom,” and Jon and Kate plus 8 are the only public figures for this issue. For me, they aren’t representing the true picture of infertility. This is our cue to take action and speak out. We are the driving force for change. Just as we advocate for ourselves in treatment, we have to bring a voice and a face to the front lines of the infertility battle…for ourselves, for our sisters in the fight and the families we want and hope to have in the future.