Do I Know Too Much? |
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When I went off birth control in April I decided I would learn more about my cycle so that along with my non-hormonal form of protection, I could avoid doing the deed on days I could be fertile. When I told my GYN I was going off birth control and that my husband and I may try to start a family soon she said it may take a few months for my uterus lining to get built back up to normal, and for my cycles to regulate again. April and May were easy months to get through. I was 26 days right on the money. The next month I thought maybe I was going back to a normal cycle—28 days when I was a few days late. Since I’ve been charting my basal body temperature I knew I had ovulated late. It came right at 29 days. I thought I was “regulated” again, but now this month—I’m on day 23 and I’m pretty sure I still haven’t ovulated. Knowing that makes me upset—I’m not gonna lie. For as long as I’ve known my cycles have been 28 days or less, now this month it could be going over 40 days. I’ve never been one with irregular cycles so I’m worried this will make things more complicated. I know it’s not the end of the world, I’m not trying to conceive yet, I still am wanting to wait at least a couple more months, but I’m annoyed that I can’t plan around my cycle. I wanted to have it mapped out—My fertile days for September, know when the prime days would be when we started trying to make a baby, but now it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to plan that far away. I know I am getting ahead of myself, I know I still have time, and I know I shouldn’t worry about something I can’t control, or a problem that may not even persist, but I guess it’s my “type-A” planning personality that’s trying to take over here and making me stress. I told myself I can’t get caught up in all of these numbers and take the fun out of something special, but I just worry this whole process will end up being a lot harder than I anticipated. I hate that when you want to start a family, that’s when the clock starts ticking to determine your fertility. I wish I could know now so that it could take some of the questions and wondering away now so that I could just go with it later. Everyone tells me I need to just relax, and I’m trying to, but it’s not easy. I am learning though, as many say, some things—You just can’t control. Part of me wishes I didn’t know what BBT, cervical mucus, and ovulation meant. Because now that I know what it takes to get pregnant, I fear I’m setting myself up for disappointment. Am I loosing my mind? How long did it take for your cycles to go back to normal once you got off birth control? What did you do to relax before or while you were TTC? |





