The Infertile Game |
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I used to be plagued by a horrible case of the ‘what ifs’? What if I never get pregnant? What if I’m still not pregnant by next year? What if the fertility procedure doesn’t work? What if I never have children? It’s a terrible game, yet we all seem to play it over and over again in our heads. When I first started trying to conceive, I played a different game called the “this time next year” game. This was a game filled with hope and excitement, believing that something magical was about to happen. I was excited that “this time next year,” I would be pregnant. This time next year, I would have a baby. This time next year, I would be trying for my second. After 12 months of trying with no pregnancy in sight, the game lost its appeal and negativity set in. Why am I not pregnant? Why is this happening to us? Why is everyone else having babies but us? That lonely game, filled with self-pity and sadness, was played for the next year until the ‘what if’ round began. But what if I stopped feeling sorry for myself and actually enjoyed my life, infertility and all? It’s a crazy idea, I know. Don’t get me wrong, I loved to play the “I’m feeling sorry for myself” game but discovered that it actually wasn’t that fun. I would spend my Saturday nights playing this solitary game, sometimes including my (unwilling) husband, but I never seemed to win. So I started thinking - what if I stopped thinking so negatively? What if I enjoyed was my day? What if I threw caution to the wind and drank a cup of coffee once and awhile? What if I actually started to enjoy my life? For many of you reading this blog, the majority of you will probably get pregnant eventually. Maybe not today or tomorrow or even next year but ask yourself this – do you want to spend everyday depressed and sad or do you want to go out and enjoy life? Save your tears for that positive pregnancy test and the day you get to hold your beautiful newborn baby. Comments (4)
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... Great post! And it's so true. I'd way rather live my life to the fullest with what I DO have rather then play games with what I don't... Easier said than done, but here's to fewer (because I can't realistically say "no") games! |
AP
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... Well said. I think that is one of the most important rules of the game is to enjoy the journey before arriving at the final destination! I'm there with ya! Let's keep playing. |
InfertileNaomi
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... One day this game might be fun when it actually results in a pregnancy. Just keep believing. |
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