Living My Best Life |
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Sorry for the long absence, but I stuck fairly true to my words and took a much needed break from “conceiving” over the holidays. I have to say it was really nice to just be me for awhile, even if it was a little unhealthy at times [plenty of all the tasty and bad for you things]. I am trying to have a much better attitude in 2010. In the immortal words of Charles Dickens, “This is a world of action, and not for moping and groaning in.” The honest truth is that I have let infertility get the better part of me the last couple of years. Now I am sure my therapist would say that I am simply being too hard on myself, but I am tired of being beaten down. I want to feel optimistic about everything again. Yet, it is hard to be optimistic when you are 42 and know that every month you have about a one in twenty chance of having a baby. It’s hard not to make the conception process an obsession, questioning every latte, glass of wine and aerobics class you attend. Yet, I think the time has come to simply focus on living my best life—exercising, eating well and taking care of me. In fact, my first big act of taking care of me is to go to a women’s meditation and silence retreat next weekend. I need some thinking time as there are some big decisions on the table for me. For the moment, I am still going to give it the college try and hope that there’s still a natural chance that there’s a golden egg hiding out, waiting for just the right moment to meet the best swimmer. But, if that doesn’t work, we need to seriously evaluate our other options—being childfree, IVF with donor egg or adoption. None of those three options have been my first choice, yet one of them is possibly my best choice. This is where people often get stuck in the conception process. Sometimes you can only see one road to your dreams, but in reality there are many. We just need to open ourselves to those possibilities. Happy 2010 everyone and may our dreams come true this year. Comments (2)
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You have courage in abundance I saw a link to your blog on twitter and am glad that I had a chance to read it. I will be referring my followers to your insightful blog post because I think it is important for others who face the same road block that you are facing to see that it is not the end of the road. Keep your mind clear and you will see that whatever decision you will end up making, if it leads you to parenthood, it will be the right one. Good luck and thank you. |
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