Today AF showed up. This starts our 17th cycle of trying to have a second.

I don't know what to do anymore. I chart, I bd on the right days, I try not to stress, I take the prenatals even though they make me sick, I eat 3 meals a day, I stopped drinking caffeine...

I don't know how much longer I can take getting BFNs every month.

What have you guys done to make the time pass or to stop fretting over something you can't change?

I plan things for the week AF is expected or the week after (before ovulation) that I wouldn't be able to do if I find out I am pregnant. Like going to a sushi restaurant with a friend, a wine tasting, a big coffee, anything that would not be good if I were pregnant, but that I enjoy. If I have to cancel because I finally got the BFP, then I will be happy. If I again get the BFN, I get to say "well, at least I still get to do _______."

It doesn't help me completely avoid the depression and the tears, but it helps them end a little sooner.

Thats a really good idea mathkiss!

I know its can get really hard sometimes getting a bfn each month. With me I usually had a cry on the day af comes and then look onwards with hope for the next month. I have a good feeling that it will happen this year though, i am trying to be positive.

Sorry AF showed up on Fri for me.
This moves me into 14 cycles of TTC #2. I just realized I thought it was only 13. HA!

I feel the same way. Ive given up caffeine, alcohol, Im doing fertility yoga, taking fertility herbs, blah blah blah.

I dont have an answer on how to pass the time or get over it. This month it just felt like 'big surprise, Im not pregnant'
I never would have dreamed it would take this long. Im semi-mad at waiting for so long to start having kids as I do feel like Id have better eggs if I were younger.

Ugh...sorry, I wasnt much help.

Hugs to all of us. I really like mathkiss's idea. For me, I plan a nice hot long bath...something I can't do if I'm pregnant. It might not be much, but it's all I've got. I've never been a drinker, don't smoke, and I don't take much in the way of caffeine.

I do also cry and wonder what's wrong with me. I get more and more convinced it's "my fault" each time. DH tries to help. Hugs and cuddles me. It helps to know that he's on my side of this fight.

I defiantly know where you are coming from. I'm on 2 and a half years of trying. There for sure is a thing as too much trying. I'm at the point that I don't know how much more trying I have left in me. You're not alone hun and we CAN get it done.

Just curious....after all this time trying I'm assuming you've been tested and fall into the unexplained infertility category!?? I spent 12 months trying (dealing with late periods - but still not pregnant - probably the stress) and every month was the crushing emotional grief. We got tested after waiting the 1 year my doctor said to try before running in for tests. Well, my hubby has severe male factor infertility and I am fine. As much as I hated hearing this (because IVF w/ ICSI was our only option) it was still an answer. We tested July '09, so over 1 year later we are on cycle 3 of IVF. My point is after we got tested, I wasn't so crushed every month that AF arrived cause I knew she would! If you are the "unexplained infertility" I am so sorry....no answers almost seem worse than bad answers. If you haven't been tested, I would say do it.....some kind of answer alleviates the waiting, the pain, and the wondering!! Don't know if this is helpful cause I bet most of you have gotten tessted, but just in case you haven't....my advice is do it! Good luck to you all!
HUGS!