Survival

email| print| share| 0 comments

For about the last 3 years I have been in survival mode. All of my energy has been focused on getting pregnant. Every thought in my head was about becoming pregnant and everything I ate was to help me get pregnant too.

One of my survival techniques was always to plan forward. Instead of focusing on the disappointment of every month I would focus on the next month or the next treatment. Now that we are pregnant I catch myself still doing this. I am planning for the future, such as the next kid. Doug and I have different ideas how #2 is coming but why do we need to decide this now. We don’t, I need to focus on this little bean and enjoy this pregnancy. There is no need for me to live in the future anymore.

Another survival technique was avoidance of everything pregnancy and baby related. I didn’t attend any baby showers except one during this time. It was during our first year of trying but even that was hard. All around you is pregnant people and babies things. Now I find myself gravitated to these aisles, I want to look at everything baby related and all I want to talk about is pregnancy. I feel like an “other” now.

These survival techniques that I have been using are not needed anymore. While going through infertility treatments they don’t prepare you for success. They are just working towards your success. How are we supposed to act in this new world? Will we adjust well? There are many things about this new world I wasn’t prepared for but changes are coming.

One change I need to make is focusing on what is happening right now, enjoying the happiness of finally being pregnant. There is no need for me to figure out the future yet because we already have the greatest gift growing inside me now.

Before I finish for today I wanted to share that we had our first ultrasound on Monday. It was amazing to see our little baby. Yes, it is just one. I will admit I was surprised and a little sad at first. I had prepared myself for the idea of twins. The more I sit with the idea of just one miracle; the more excited I get. Our next ultrasound is Monday and we should see the heartbeat then.

Reader Faves

The Conceive Conversation: Infertility Expert Dr. Robert Greene

A best-selling author and leading reproductive endocrinologist advocates for the one test every woman who wants to conceive should have.
What to Expect From Your First Visit to a Fertility Clinic

Eileen Garvin of Susanville, California, became a client of a fertility clinic the way most women do—she was referred there by her ob/gyn.
Seven Most Common Miscarriage Causes

A few months after my first child was born, I wanted to be pregnant again—as soon as possible. I wanted my children to be close in age, the closer...
Generous Donations: Egg Donors and Surrogates

When a couple is having trouble conceiving or carrying a pregnancy, sometimes a “third party” is enlisted to help. These women—egg donors and surrogates—are giving one of the greatest gifts of all. Find out why they do it.

Your Comment

All submitted comments are subject to the license terms set forth in our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

Quick Poll

Latest Tweets

+ See more tweets

Displaying 1 - 5 of 15 stories

Pregnancy Envy

You’ve only been trying for a few months, but you’re already starting to get annoyed rather than excited when you see a pregnant woman. Or you’ve been trying a lot longer. . . and you can’t even bear to look. Here’s how to get over it until it’s your turn.
What to Expect From Your First Visit to a Fertility Clinic

Eileen Garvin of Susanville, California, became a client of a fertility clinic the way most women do—she was referred there by her ob/gyn.
Negotiating Time Off for Fertility Treatments and Adoption

Everyone knows about maternity leave, but sometimes women need to take time off before a baby arrives. If you’re having fertility treatments or trying to adopt, here’s what you should know to get the time off you need. Whether—and when—to tell your boss that you’re undergoing fertility treatments or arranging an adoption depends a lot on your relationship with your supervisor. While most workplace experts caution against revealing too much personal information, how do you explain being late for work because of blood tests and ultrasounds, and then needing to get home for hormone injections? Or what if you must travel abroad to bring home a baby, and then want three months to bond with your adopted child?
How to Choose a Fertility Center

In an effort to attract patients and compete against the more-than 400 fertility centers providing IVF nationwide, fertility clinics today routinely...
IVF 101: In Vitro Fertilization Explained

As kids, we all learned about the birds and the bees. But we probably didn’t learn enough about fertility to know how babies can be conceived when nature doesn’t work perfectly.
Generous Donations: Egg Donors and Surrogates

When a couple is having trouble conceiving or carrying a pregnancy, sometimes a “third party” is enlisted to help. These women—egg donors and surrogates—are giving one of the greatest gifts of all. Find out why they do it.
The 7 Most Common Fertility Drugs

By now you’ve probably heard of Clomid, the most commonly-used fertility drug in the United States. But do you really know how it works and what the possible side effects can be? If fertility drugs are your next step in the attempt to get pregnant, then here is a quick rundown of the seven medications your doctor is most likely to prescribe.
Infertility: Dealing With the Diagnosis

No one wants to hear a doctor utter the dreaded word “infertility.” But couples can use the diagnosis as an opportunity to learn the skills they...