Celebrating Special Women in Your Life
Celebrate your mother. If she is alive and lives close by, you can choose to do something special together. If this isn’t feasible, then take the time to connect in some meaningful way, even if it’s simply to offer a silent prayer of thanks for the gift of life she gave you.
If your mother has passed away, recall loving times you shared or do something that you know she would have enjoyed. Celebrate her life. Now think about the other special women in your life. We’ve all had friends, mentors, teachers …women who have been powerful models for us, women who saw in us some special spark that maybe we had never noticed before, women who encouraged us to grow beyond what we thought possible. These women are our mothers too, so celebrate them. Tell them, in whatever way, how deeply they have touched you, how grateful you are for their presence in your life.
Honor your feelings, whatever they may be. Even though there are some who anticipate the holiday with joy, there are other women, especially those struggling to start a family, who dread Mother’s Day. If you find yourself in this situation, acknowledging your feelings is essential, especially in helping you to decide how to best spend the day. Check in with yourself and spend some quiet time, especially if you are feeling disappointed that you aren’t pregnant yet, or grieving over a miscarriage or other loss.
Take heart, too, because even in your grief, you are reaffirming your identity as a mother. You are grieving for your child, even if it’s just the image of a child you hold within your heart. Be gentle and patient with yourself.
Celebrating the Day
Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate all women, including yourself, so be open to celebrating it in whatever manner resonates for you. There is no right way, regardless of what others may have you believe. Take stock of where you are in your life, your quest for parenthood, and make choices consistent with your well-being.
For some women, a Mother’s Day gathering, complete with extended family, is what brings them the most joy. Religious services, celebrating the theme of motherhood, figure into many women’s plans for the day. Again, depending on your specific circumstances and feelings, these events can either be a joyful or painful experience. Know yourself, acknowledge your limits, and act true to that.
One couple I worked with, who had unsuccessfully been trying to conceive a child for a number of months, decided to go away for the weekend, and spend Mother’s Day celebrating each other and their relationship. Another couple, who was similarly struggling, celebrated the day by attending a gallery opening with adult friends.
Whatever you choose, take the day to celebrate the essence of who you are, whether or not you happen to be a parent. Celebrate the mother within you, and in so doing, discover the uniqueness of your own spirit, and the common bond you share with all women.